Sermon Title: Parents, do this – if you truly love your children
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—
“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Parents, do not exasperate your children (do not provoke them to anger); instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4)
Dearly Beloved,
Greetings in the Name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!
For Christians, our every relationship must be established and deepened “out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21)
In fact – as was spoken to last week - every relationship in the life of the Christian, within the body of Christ, must be perceived, and expected, to last for eternity – established thoroughly in the Holiness of God; which is completely in line with God’s gift of eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.
And just as it is impossible to be Christian without the Presence, Purpose and Power of the Holy Spirit in our lives – it is impossible to be godly husbands and wives; and as we would find out today, godly parents - fulfilling our divine roles in the holy sacrament of marriage and family.
At first glance of today’s passage in Ephesians 6:1-4, we would think that Paul’s primary audience was – the children; for after all, he does start with, “Children, obey your parents… …”
It is deeply significant that we understand who Paul’s primary audience is; and it is not the children.
The primary and imperative audience in Paul’s instruction for the establishment of a Godly family - which is the same as that of the Old Testament passage that he quotes from in Deuteronomy 5:16 – are the fathers and mothers - the parents - found amongst God’s holy nation.
In the days following Moses, Israel subsisted in the spoken tradition of passing down the laws of God through verbal means – the modern-day equivalent being Scripture reading, sermons, story-telling and deliberate conversations around Scriptures - memorised and relayed to the following generations ; as opposed to the literary means in the ‘pick and choose’ culture and ‘information from the internet’ that we are so familiar with today.
The laws of God – along with the stories of Israel – were structured into their lives, memorised in their hearts, taught verbally and spoken frequently in sacred observances, holy celebrations and in daily lives.
The audience of the Ten Commandments - which no doubt, included children - were meant primarily for the adults of Israel; those who truly understood the depth and implications of the Word of God.
For the adults are those who recognised the divine reality as spoken in 1 John 4:20 which tells us: “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar.
For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.”
In that same reality, when we read the Ten Commandments in Deuteronomy 5:6-16, which begins with:
The First Commandment:
6 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
7 “You shall have no other gods before me;
The Second Commandment:
8 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 9 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 10 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
The Third Commandment:
11 “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.
The Fourth Commandment:
12 “Observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy, as the Lord your God has commanded you. 13 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 14 but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your ox, your donkey or any of your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns, so that your male and female servants may rest, as you do.
15 Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and that the Lord your God brought you out of there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm.
Therefore the Lord your God has commanded you to observe the Sabbath day.
And then, the Fifth Commandment – which is, in reality, the expression of a life that fulfills the first and foremost four key commandments of the people of God:
16 “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you;
It becomes very clear that whoever does not obey and honor their parents on earth whom they have seen, cannot obey and honor God, whom they have not seen.
The theological implication being that: those who fail to honor their parents have already, definitely failed to honor the Lord, which is fundamental and essential in being a believer.
Such is the biblical significance of honoring and obeying our parents; for they are God’s earthly representations whom we honor and obey; and through doing so, learn to honor and obey our GOD.
That the Apostle Paul quotes and connects the instruction for children to obey their parents directly to the fifth commandment speaks also to three deeply important biblical implications:
(1) To honor God, is to obey Him; just as to honor our parents is to obey them;
(2) For children to obey their parents “in the Lord, for this is right” – which may also be understood as, “children, obey your parents; for in the Lord’s sight, He considers your obedience as acts of righteousness; and thus, your obedience to your parents, means obedience to God” – and in this, we must begin to acknowledge and embrace the truth that our children’s obedience to us, their earthly parents, is the pathway to a life of righteousness in the Lord;
(3) This pathway to a life of righteousness in the Lord, is thus, a blessed life; which comes with the promise, “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ref: Deuteronomy 5:16, Ephesians 6:2)
In every way, these theological implications must become our sacred motivation to facilitate and expect our children to honor and obey us – for at stake here, are their eternal lives, which begins with divine wellness and long life on this earth.
“That it may go well” with them, and that they “may enjoy long life on the earth”; don’t we all desire that for our children?
Isn’t this then, exactly what we must do – facilitating and expecting our children to obey and honor us – if we truly love them?
In the consideration that we – as Parents – are the primary audience of these holy passages; it becomes necessary that we understand our responsibility to ENSURE and EXPECT our children’s obedience and honor of us; and through this, be set on the pathway of holiness and righteousness in their own obedience and honor of the Lord our God.
Parents, if we truly love our children – we need to S.T.E.P. into our sacred roles in ensuring and expecting our children to honor and obey us.
We need to:
(i) Seek God in setting up a godly home with the holy expectation and environment of honor and obedience;
(ii) Teach our children to obey and honor us; and in turn, obey and honor God;
(iii) Exemplify for our children a life obeying and honoring both God and our own parents;
(iv) Pray for our children daily – that their utter desire would be to obey and honor God as manifested through obeying and honoring us; their parents.
(i) Seek God in setting up a godly home with the holy expectation and environment of honor and obedience;
To set up the holy expectation and environment of honor and obedience requires every parent to understand that our “children are a heritage from the Lord” (Psalm 27:3)
Just as our spouses belong to God; so does our children – for in their obedience and honor, they are God’s gift of lasting legacy to us.
To truly cherish our children is to believe in the words of Jesus that “From the lips of children and infants; you, Lord, have called forth your praise” (Matthew 21:16, ref: Psalm 8:2) and thus, recognize that every child is pure and created to praise God.
To this, our families must be set up with the holy expectation of obedience and honor by simply telling our children from the moment they are born that this is exactly what is expected of them, and conscientiously follow through in this holy expectation – that their lives must obey and honor God; just as they obey and honor us in daily living.
Every child is a gift from God; and as such, we must also understand that at the heart of every child is a deep desire within each of them – placed by God Himself – to love us and find favor in our eyes; love and favor that would one day be reserved solely for the Lord, our God.
Parents, seek the Lord for His Strength and Wisdom to daily and resolutely set up a holy environment of obedience and honor through establishing a family altar unto the Lord where we must – in our own obedience to Him - first draw close to God in worship, and in Truth.
Let your children see your holy example, and the environment of honor and obedience that the Lord has guided you to set up for them; and then teach it to them in the daily rhythms of life.
(ii) Teach our children to obey and honor us; and in turn, obey and honor God;
After we have sought the Lord in setting up the holy expectation and environment of obedience and honor, we would need to actively teach it to our children in every aspect of life.
In essence, we teach them to listen to our instructions, to respect us, to hold us in deep regard, to honor us by putting us ahead of themselves.
Never allow yourself to be disrespected by your children in speech or behaviour; catching and correcting disrespect early in life would save the child from dishonoring you, and be robbed of God’s Promise of a well and meaningful life.
Do not rob your child of this divine promise, be vigilant and resolute in enforcing respect from your children.
Set up the rules of obedience and honor, stand by them, and stick to it.
It might be the most challenging thing you have to do; but be assured that it is well worth it.
Be utterly consistent in expecting and enforcing immediate obedience; for delayed obedience is really disobedience.
Be utterly consistent in expecting and enforcing respect and honor from your children – respect and honor in as simple expressions as greeting you in the morning and at the end of the day, addressing you properly, responding to you respectfully every single time, asking you to eat ahead of them at meals, and even praying with you during meals or at the end of the day where you pray a blessing over your child before they turn in for the night.
Never ignore disobedience; for every time disobedience is overlooked, it is reward in itself, and it will perpetuate, and breed contempt for you – as it grows - along the way.
Let your child know that you love him or her enough to consistently expect and enforce immediate obedience.
We are taught in Proverbs 13:24: “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”
Parents, bear in your hearts and minds that the Great Commission of making “disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19) begins with our children; that we make them disciples of our Lord Jesus Christ through our instructions and example (to which, we will speak to in detail later); and that we discipline them out of our love for them - in the sacred task of disciple-making.
Discipline of our children must take place within the sole premise and framework of making them disciples of Christ Jesus our Lord; without which, as the Apostle Paul forewarns: we would exasperate our children – provoking them to a life of anger, bitterness and sin.
To this, Paul exhorts us to “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4); which is seen in the testimony of Timothy, whose grandmother and mother – Lois and Eunice - evidently did.
We read of this wonderful encouragement in 2 Timothy 1:5:
“I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.
And then in 2 Timothy 3:14-17:
"But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."
Parents, do you desire that your children become servants of God?
Isaiah 54:13 tells us: "All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children", in prophetic allusion that if we would consciously and conscientiously allow the Holy Spirit to remind and teach us the ways of God, and in teaching them God’s Ways, they would enjoy great peace as promised by God.
In God’s design for the family, both parents – the father and the mother – are critical in raising our children in His holiness and glory.
Proverbs 1:8-9 reveals to us,
"Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck."
Both parents are critical in the life of our children.
Understand this well.
We must love, honor, and trust our own spouses – for you are first a husband before you are a father; and you are first a wife before you are a mother.
Your authority as a father or a mother is premised on your commitment to the Lord Jesus and your commitment to your marriage and spouse.
In consideration to the uniqueness of every child’s age and ability, teach them to do what you are doing for them. Teach them to appreciate you through these sacred experiences.
(iii) Exemplify for our children a life obeying and honoring both God and our own parents;
Colossians 3:20 echoes, "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."
Parents, exemplify a life that is pleasing to the Lord in every way – in your life honor God; and honor your own parents.
Clearly live out your relationship with God and your parents; and clearly manifest the Presence, Purposes and Power of the Holy Spirit in your life – in worship, ministry, and fellowship; and in the deepening of your life in Christ together with your children – through daily moments of intimate prayers and worship, bible-study, and intentional spiritual conversations.
Be the husband you desire your sons to be; be the wife you desire your daughters to be; be the child to your parents, and the sibling to your own brothers and sisters that you desire your children to be; be the believer and disciple of Jesus Christ that you desire your children to be.
Let the light of Christ shine through you into the hearts of your children.
Be filled with the Holy Spirit and be Christ’s witness to your children; then pray with them to receive the Holy Spirit.
Let the Power of the Holy Spirit in your life inspire your children to draw close and deep to God; and to be used by Him as He has used you.
Show them the times when you deliberately quieten your heart to worship Him and meditate upon His Word.
Show them the times you deliberately still your heart in the midst of the storms of life.
Encourage them to follow you, follow your example; as your follow in the footsteps and example of the Saviour.
Let the Love, Grace and Mercy of God so fill your heart that your children may see clearly that your life is indeed about honoring and obeying God.
Teach and learn along with them – which is to “train up” your children in the way they should go – the Way of Jesus, that you have consciously and conscientiously chosen for yourself; so that even when they are old, they will not depart from it. (Ref: Proverbs 22:6)
What an amazing and powerful promise!
And to appropriate a promise as divine as such, we need to pray for our children.
(iv) Pray for our children daily – that their utter desire would be to obey and honor God as manifested – as expressed - through obeying and honoring us; their parents.
As parents, we need to understand and believe that our children belong to the Lord, and deep in their hearts – they do desire to obey and honor us; and under our love, care, discipleship and stewardship – they may be nurtured to utterly desire to obey and honor God with their lives.
Our Lord Jesus exemplified this sacred reality in Matthew 18:2-4:
"And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said,
'Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'"
In our children, God has already bestowed upon them – out of their humility, innocence, purity and child-likeness - a place in the Kingdom of heaven.
Parents, nurture your children daily in the Presence of Christ; for in doing so, you are protecting them from corruption of the world.
Arm them with the love and knowledge of Christ, and empower them in the Holy Spirit; and in doing so, you are armouring them against the schemes of the evil one.
Memorise prayers together –
The Lord’s prayer (Matthew 6:9-13) and Psalm 23 are great prayers to start with; no matter how old they may be today.
Daily pray blessings over your children -
The Aaronic blessing - Numbers 6:24-26: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”;
Deuteronomy 13:4: “It is the Lord your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him”;
Romans 15:13: “May God, the source of hope, fill you with all joy and peace by means of your faith in him, so that your hope will continue to grow by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
In closing: … in truly loving our children.
In truly loving our children, we are tasked with bringing “them up in the training and instruction of the Lord”.
It would remain for all parents – if we were to do it well – one of the most challenging aspects of life as we know it; for to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord requires us to be trained and instructed in the Lord – a requirement met only if we live authentic lives in honor, reverence, love and obedience towards the Lord our God.
In expecting and facilitating our children to obey and honor us, so as to set them on the pathway of righteousness of ultimately obeying and honoring God; we are expecting and facilitating ourselves to be true disciples of our Lord Jesus Christ.
May we – as Parents – daily remind ourselves of this holy instruction to ensure and expect our children’s obedience and honor toward us; and through this daily spiritual discipline, set our children – as it does ourselves - on the pathway of holiness and righteousness in our household’s obedience and honor of the Lord our God.
The mighty leader of Israel, Joshua, once gave this ultimatum, found in Joshua 24:14-15, to the nation:
“Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness.
Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord.
But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living.
But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:14-15)
Christian parents, we need to arise and make our stand.
Choose the Lord!
We cannot allow the world to choose for us whom we will love and serve; and we certainly cannot allow our children to make that choice on our behalves.
We are the intended audience of God’s sacred instruction to keep His Holy Ways and to glorify His Holy Name – fulfilling our lasting legacy in His eternal Kingdom; in communion with the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.
Parents, as we spoke to earlier:
If we truly love our children – we need to S.T.E.P. into our sacred roles in ensuring and expecting our children to honor and obey us.
We need to:
(i) Seek God in setting up a godly home with the holy expectation and environment of honor and obedience;
(ii) Teach our children to obey and honor us; and in turn, obey and honor God;
(iii) Exemplify for our children a life obeying and honoring both God and our own parents;
(iv) Pray for our children daily – that their utter desire would be to obey and honor God as manifested through obeying and honoring us; their parents.
May the Lord grant you – parents, disciple-makers and Spirit-filled stewards of God’s children – the courage, strength, resolve and wisdom to bring your children up in the training and instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ; through your own lives of unreserved honor and obedience unto God;
May His Holiness, Power and Love fill and saturate your household - that He may be glorified in your deliberate choice to S.T.E.P. into His Promise of eternal life in the Kingdom of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, in daily declaring, “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord”;
That through your obedience and honor of the Lord our God, your children would indeed experience true and lasting blessing and peace that comes only through Christ, our Saviour.
Parents, open your hearts and minds – as you read this holy text again:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—
“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Parents, do not exasperate your children (do not provoke them to anger); instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4)
In the Name of Jesus Christ, our Lord – I charge you to ensure and expect your children to obey and honor you; and in so doing, obey and honor the Lord our God.
You are the bridge to your children’s destiny.
You have been charged with this sacred duty.
By the Power of the Holy Spirit, fulfill your destiny as Christ’s witness to your household; and to the world.
Shalom.
Let us pray.
Our Father in Heaven,
Hallowed be Your Name.
Your Kingdom come, Your Will be done; on earth, as it is in heaven.
Lord, we pray especially for our families today – that indeed, Your Kingdom would come and Your Will be done in every household whose parents have made the deliberate choice to love and serve You alone!
Holy Spirit, grant every believing and committed parent Your Power to love our children with the ability and desire to “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord”.
Through the challenge, rigours and even struggles of such a spiritual discipline, may You grant us strength and resolve that we – as parents – be daily reminded to expect and ensure that our children obey and honor us; through daily living authentically in honor, reverence, love and obedience towards You - our Lord, our God; and may we live purposefully and powerfully as Christ’s disciples in Your Holy expectation and providence of our lives.
We ask for Your guidance and wisdom in the holy expectation and facilitation of our children in obeying and honoring us – for You have revealed in Your Word that this is Your ordained pathway of righteousness that would result in our children ultimately obeying and honoring You; and Your promise of our lasting heritage.
Today, we declare that we will fear the Lord and serve Him in all faithfulness! (Ref: Joshua 24:14)
Today, in the mighty Name of Jesus, we reject the ways of the world and we reject the schemes of the evil one in attempting to corrupt us and our children.
Today, we declare that we belong solely to You.
Today, we declare our love for You, O God – with all our heart, mind, soul and might – and declare, “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:14-15)
Holy Spirit, help us daily
(i) Seek You in setting up a godly home with the holy expectation and environment of honor and obedience;
(ii) Teach our children to obey and honor us; and in turn, obey and honor You;
(iii) Exemplify for our children a life obeying and honoring both You, and our own parents;
(iv) Pray for our children – that their utter desire would be to obey and honor You, as manifested through obeying and honoring us; their parents.
Lord, grant us – parents, disciple-makers and Spirit-filled stewards of Your children – the courage, strength, resolve and wisdom to bring them up in the training and instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ; through our own lives of unreserved honor and obedience unto You;
May Your Holiness, Power and Love fill and saturate our households - that You may be glorified in our deliberate choice to S.T.E.P. into Your sacred roles for us as fathers and mothers; and in so doing, live in Your Promise of eternal life in the Kingdom of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
That through our obedience and honor of You – our Lord, our God – that we, along with our children - would indeed experience Your true and lasting blessing and peace that comes only through Christ, our Saviour.
By the Power of the Holy Spirit, may we fulfill our destiny as Christ’s witness to our households; and to the world.
To this, to our children, we pray –
“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”;
We thank You and pray all these in the Name of our King, Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—
“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Parents, do not exasperate your children (do not provoke them to anger); instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4)
Dearly Beloved,
Greetings in the Name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!
For Christians, our every relationship must be established and deepened “out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21)
In fact – as was spoken to last week - every relationship in the life of the Christian, within the body of Christ, must be perceived, and expected, to last for eternity – established thoroughly in the Holiness of God; which is completely in line with God’s gift of eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.
And just as it is impossible to be Christian without the Presence, Purpose and Power of the Holy Spirit in our lives – it is impossible to be godly husbands and wives; and as we would find out today, godly parents - fulfilling our divine roles in the holy sacrament of marriage and family.
At first glance of today’s passage in Ephesians 6:1-4, we would think that Paul’s primary audience was – the children; for after all, he does start with, “Children, obey your parents… …”
It is deeply significant that we understand who Paul’s primary audience is; and it is not the children.
The primary and imperative audience in Paul’s instruction for the establishment of a Godly family - which is the same as that of the Old Testament passage that he quotes from in Deuteronomy 5:16 – are the fathers and mothers - the parents - found amongst God’s holy nation.
In the days following Moses, Israel subsisted in the spoken tradition of passing down the laws of God through verbal means – the modern-day equivalent being Scripture reading, sermons, story-telling and deliberate conversations around Scriptures - memorised and relayed to the following generations ; as opposed to the literary means in the ‘pick and choose’ culture and ‘information from the internet’ that we are so familiar with today.
The laws of God – along with the stories of Israel – were structured into their lives, memorised in their hearts, taught verbally and spoken frequently in sacred observances, holy celebrations and in daily lives.
The audience of the Ten Commandments - which no doubt, included children - were meant primarily for the adults of Israel; those who truly understood the depth and implications of the Word of God.
For the adults are those who recognised the divine reality as spoken in 1 John 4:20 which tells us: “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar.
For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.”
In that same reality, when we read the Ten Commandments in Deuteronomy 5:6-16, which begins with:
The First Commandment:
6 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
7 “You shall have no other gods before me;
The Second Commandment:
8 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 9 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 10 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
The Third Commandment:
11 “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.
The Fourth Commandment:
12 “Observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy, as the Lord your God has commanded you. 13 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 14 but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your ox, your donkey or any of your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns, so that your male and female servants may rest, as you do.
15 Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and that the Lord your God brought you out of there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm.
Therefore the Lord your God has commanded you to observe the Sabbath day.
And then, the Fifth Commandment – which is, in reality, the expression of a life that fulfills the first and foremost four key commandments of the people of God:
16 “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you;
It becomes very clear that whoever does not obey and honor their parents on earth whom they have seen, cannot obey and honor God, whom they have not seen.
The theological implication being that: those who fail to honor their parents have already, definitely failed to honor the Lord, which is fundamental and essential in being a believer.
Such is the biblical significance of honoring and obeying our parents; for they are God’s earthly representations whom we honor and obey; and through doing so, learn to honor and obey our GOD.
That the Apostle Paul quotes and connects the instruction for children to obey their parents directly to the fifth commandment speaks also to three deeply important biblical implications:
(1) To honor God, is to obey Him; just as to honor our parents is to obey them;
(2) For children to obey their parents “in the Lord, for this is right” – which may also be understood as, “children, obey your parents; for in the Lord’s sight, He considers your obedience as acts of righteousness; and thus, your obedience to your parents, means obedience to God” – and in this, we must begin to acknowledge and embrace the truth that our children’s obedience to us, their earthly parents, is the pathway to a life of righteousness in the Lord;
(3) This pathway to a life of righteousness in the Lord, is thus, a blessed life; which comes with the promise, “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ref: Deuteronomy 5:16, Ephesians 6:2)
In every way, these theological implications must become our sacred motivation to facilitate and expect our children to honor and obey us – for at stake here, are their eternal lives, which begins with divine wellness and long life on this earth.
“That it may go well” with them, and that they “may enjoy long life on the earth”; don’t we all desire that for our children?
Isn’t this then, exactly what we must do – facilitating and expecting our children to obey and honor us – if we truly love them?
In the consideration that we – as Parents – are the primary audience of these holy passages; it becomes necessary that we understand our responsibility to ENSURE and EXPECT our children’s obedience and honor of us; and through this, be set on the pathway of holiness and righteousness in their own obedience and honor of the Lord our God.
Parents, if we truly love our children – we need to S.T.E.P. into our sacred roles in ensuring and expecting our children to honor and obey us.
We need to:
(i) Seek God in setting up a godly home with the holy expectation and environment of honor and obedience;
(ii) Teach our children to obey and honor us; and in turn, obey and honor God;
(iii) Exemplify for our children a life obeying and honoring both God and our own parents;
(iv) Pray for our children daily – that their utter desire would be to obey and honor God as manifested through obeying and honoring us; their parents.
(i) Seek God in setting up a godly home with the holy expectation and environment of honor and obedience;
To set up the holy expectation and environment of honor and obedience requires every parent to understand that our “children are a heritage from the Lord” (Psalm 27:3)
Just as our spouses belong to God; so does our children – for in their obedience and honor, they are God’s gift of lasting legacy to us.
To truly cherish our children is to believe in the words of Jesus that “From the lips of children and infants; you, Lord, have called forth your praise” (Matthew 21:16, ref: Psalm 8:2) and thus, recognize that every child is pure and created to praise God.
To this, our families must be set up with the holy expectation of obedience and honor by simply telling our children from the moment they are born that this is exactly what is expected of them, and conscientiously follow through in this holy expectation – that their lives must obey and honor God; just as they obey and honor us in daily living.
Every child is a gift from God; and as such, we must also understand that at the heart of every child is a deep desire within each of them – placed by God Himself – to love us and find favor in our eyes; love and favor that would one day be reserved solely for the Lord, our God.
Parents, seek the Lord for His Strength and Wisdom to daily and resolutely set up a holy environment of obedience and honor through establishing a family altar unto the Lord where we must – in our own obedience to Him - first draw close to God in worship, and in Truth.
Let your children see your holy example, and the environment of honor and obedience that the Lord has guided you to set up for them; and then teach it to them in the daily rhythms of life.
(ii) Teach our children to obey and honor us; and in turn, obey and honor God;
After we have sought the Lord in setting up the holy expectation and environment of obedience and honor, we would need to actively teach it to our children in every aspect of life.
In essence, we teach them to listen to our instructions, to respect us, to hold us in deep regard, to honor us by putting us ahead of themselves.
Never allow yourself to be disrespected by your children in speech or behaviour; catching and correcting disrespect early in life would save the child from dishonoring you, and be robbed of God’s Promise of a well and meaningful life.
Do not rob your child of this divine promise, be vigilant and resolute in enforcing respect from your children.
Set up the rules of obedience and honor, stand by them, and stick to it.
It might be the most challenging thing you have to do; but be assured that it is well worth it.
Be utterly consistent in expecting and enforcing immediate obedience; for delayed obedience is really disobedience.
Be utterly consistent in expecting and enforcing respect and honor from your children – respect and honor in as simple expressions as greeting you in the morning and at the end of the day, addressing you properly, responding to you respectfully every single time, asking you to eat ahead of them at meals, and even praying with you during meals or at the end of the day where you pray a blessing over your child before they turn in for the night.
Never ignore disobedience; for every time disobedience is overlooked, it is reward in itself, and it will perpetuate, and breed contempt for you – as it grows - along the way.
Let your child know that you love him or her enough to consistently expect and enforce immediate obedience.
We are taught in Proverbs 13:24: “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”
Parents, bear in your hearts and minds that the Great Commission of making “disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19) begins with our children; that we make them disciples of our Lord Jesus Christ through our instructions and example (to which, we will speak to in detail later); and that we discipline them out of our love for them - in the sacred task of disciple-making.
Discipline of our children must take place within the sole premise and framework of making them disciples of Christ Jesus our Lord; without which, as the Apostle Paul forewarns: we would exasperate our children – provoking them to a life of anger, bitterness and sin.
To this, Paul exhorts us to “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4); which is seen in the testimony of Timothy, whose grandmother and mother – Lois and Eunice - evidently did.
We read of this wonderful encouragement in 2 Timothy 1:5:
“I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.
And then in 2 Timothy 3:14-17:
"But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."
Parents, do you desire that your children become servants of God?
Isaiah 54:13 tells us: "All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children", in prophetic allusion that if we would consciously and conscientiously allow the Holy Spirit to remind and teach us the ways of God, and in teaching them God’s Ways, they would enjoy great peace as promised by God.
In God’s design for the family, both parents – the father and the mother – are critical in raising our children in His holiness and glory.
Proverbs 1:8-9 reveals to us,
"Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck."
Both parents are critical in the life of our children.
Understand this well.
We must love, honor, and trust our own spouses – for you are first a husband before you are a father; and you are first a wife before you are a mother.
Your authority as a father or a mother is premised on your commitment to the Lord Jesus and your commitment to your marriage and spouse.
In consideration to the uniqueness of every child’s age and ability, teach them to do what you are doing for them. Teach them to appreciate you through these sacred experiences.
(iii) Exemplify for our children a life obeying and honoring both God and our own parents;
Colossians 3:20 echoes, "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."
Parents, exemplify a life that is pleasing to the Lord in every way – in your life honor God; and honor your own parents.
Clearly live out your relationship with God and your parents; and clearly manifest the Presence, Purposes and Power of the Holy Spirit in your life – in worship, ministry, and fellowship; and in the deepening of your life in Christ together with your children – through daily moments of intimate prayers and worship, bible-study, and intentional spiritual conversations.
Be the husband you desire your sons to be; be the wife you desire your daughters to be; be the child to your parents, and the sibling to your own brothers and sisters that you desire your children to be; be the believer and disciple of Jesus Christ that you desire your children to be.
Let the light of Christ shine through you into the hearts of your children.
Be filled with the Holy Spirit and be Christ’s witness to your children; then pray with them to receive the Holy Spirit.
Let the Power of the Holy Spirit in your life inspire your children to draw close and deep to God; and to be used by Him as He has used you.
Show them the times when you deliberately quieten your heart to worship Him and meditate upon His Word.
Show them the times you deliberately still your heart in the midst of the storms of life.
Encourage them to follow you, follow your example; as your follow in the footsteps and example of the Saviour.
Let the Love, Grace and Mercy of God so fill your heart that your children may see clearly that your life is indeed about honoring and obeying God.
Teach and learn along with them – which is to “train up” your children in the way they should go – the Way of Jesus, that you have consciously and conscientiously chosen for yourself; so that even when they are old, they will not depart from it. (Ref: Proverbs 22:6)
What an amazing and powerful promise!
And to appropriate a promise as divine as such, we need to pray for our children.
(iv) Pray for our children daily – that their utter desire would be to obey and honor God as manifested – as expressed - through obeying and honoring us; their parents.
As parents, we need to understand and believe that our children belong to the Lord, and deep in their hearts – they do desire to obey and honor us; and under our love, care, discipleship and stewardship – they may be nurtured to utterly desire to obey and honor God with their lives.
Our Lord Jesus exemplified this sacred reality in Matthew 18:2-4:
"And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said,
'Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'"
In our children, God has already bestowed upon them – out of their humility, innocence, purity and child-likeness - a place in the Kingdom of heaven.
Parents, nurture your children daily in the Presence of Christ; for in doing so, you are protecting them from corruption of the world.
Arm them with the love and knowledge of Christ, and empower them in the Holy Spirit; and in doing so, you are armouring them against the schemes of the evil one.
Memorise prayers together –
The Lord’s prayer (Matthew 6:9-13) and Psalm 23 are great prayers to start with; no matter how old they may be today.
Daily pray blessings over your children -
The Aaronic blessing - Numbers 6:24-26: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”;
Deuteronomy 13:4: “It is the Lord your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him”;
Romans 15:13: “May God, the source of hope, fill you with all joy and peace by means of your faith in him, so that your hope will continue to grow by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
In closing: … in truly loving our children.
In truly loving our children, we are tasked with bringing “them up in the training and instruction of the Lord”.
It would remain for all parents – if we were to do it well – one of the most challenging aspects of life as we know it; for to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord requires us to be trained and instructed in the Lord – a requirement met only if we live authentic lives in honor, reverence, love and obedience towards the Lord our God.
In expecting and facilitating our children to obey and honor us, so as to set them on the pathway of righteousness of ultimately obeying and honoring God; we are expecting and facilitating ourselves to be true disciples of our Lord Jesus Christ.
May we – as Parents – daily remind ourselves of this holy instruction to ensure and expect our children’s obedience and honor toward us; and through this daily spiritual discipline, set our children – as it does ourselves - on the pathway of holiness and righteousness in our household’s obedience and honor of the Lord our God.
The mighty leader of Israel, Joshua, once gave this ultimatum, found in Joshua 24:14-15, to the nation:
“Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness.
Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord.
But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living.
But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:14-15)
Christian parents, we need to arise and make our stand.
Choose the Lord!
We cannot allow the world to choose for us whom we will love and serve; and we certainly cannot allow our children to make that choice on our behalves.
We are the intended audience of God’s sacred instruction to keep His Holy Ways and to glorify His Holy Name – fulfilling our lasting legacy in His eternal Kingdom; in communion with the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.
Parents, as we spoke to earlier:
If we truly love our children – we need to S.T.E.P. into our sacred roles in ensuring and expecting our children to honor and obey us.
We need to:
(i) Seek God in setting up a godly home with the holy expectation and environment of honor and obedience;
(ii) Teach our children to obey and honor us; and in turn, obey and honor God;
(iii) Exemplify for our children a life obeying and honoring both God and our own parents;
(iv) Pray for our children daily – that their utter desire would be to obey and honor God as manifested through obeying and honoring us; their parents.
May the Lord grant you – parents, disciple-makers and Spirit-filled stewards of God’s children – the courage, strength, resolve and wisdom to bring your children up in the training and instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ; through your own lives of unreserved honor and obedience unto God;
May His Holiness, Power and Love fill and saturate your household - that He may be glorified in your deliberate choice to S.T.E.P. into His Promise of eternal life in the Kingdom of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, in daily declaring, “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord”;
That through your obedience and honor of the Lord our God, your children would indeed experience true and lasting blessing and peace that comes only through Christ, our Saviour.
Parents, open your hearts and minds – as you read this holy text again:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—
“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Parents, do not exasperate your children (do not provoke them to anger); instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4)
In the Name of Jesus Christ, our Lord – I charge you to ensure and expect your children to obey and honor you; and in so doing, obey and honor the Lord our God.
You are the bridge to your children’s destiny.
You have been charged with this sacred duty.
By the Power of the Holy Spirit, fulfill your destiny as Christ’s witness to your household; and to the world.
Shalom.
Let us pray.
Our Father in Heaven,
Hallowed be Your Name.
Your Kingdom come, Your Will be done; on earth, as it is in heaven.
Lord, we pray especially for our families today – that indeed, Your Kingdom would come and Your Will be done in every household whose parents have made the deliberate choice to love and serve You alone!
Holy Spirit, grant every believing and committed parent Your Power to love our children with the ability and desire to “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord”.
Through the challenge, rigours and even struggles of such a spiritual discipline, may You grant us strength and resolve that we – as parents – be daily reminded to expect and ensure that our children obey and honor us; through daily living authentically in honor, reverence, love and obedience towards You - our Lord, our God; and may we live purposefully and powerfully as Christ’s disciples in Your Holy expectation and providence of our lives.
We ask for Your guidance and wisdom in the holy expectation and facilitation of our children in obeying and honoring us – for You have revealed in Your Word that this is Your ordained pathway of righteousness that would result in our children ultimately obeying and honoring You; and Your promise of our lasting heritage.
Today, we declare that we will fear the Lord and serve Him in all faithfulness! (Ref: Joshua 24:14)
Today, in the mighty Name of Jesus, we reject the ways of the world and we reject the schemes of the evil one in attempting to corrupt us and our children.
Today, we declare that we belong solely to You.
Today, we declare our love for You, O God – with all our heart, mind, soul and might – and declare, “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:14-15)
Holy Spirit, help us daily
(i) Seek You in setting up a godly home with the holy expectation and environment of honor and obedience;
(ii) Teach our children to obey and honor us; and in turn, obey and honor You;
(iii) Exemplify for our children a life obeying and honoring both You, and our own parents;
(iv) Pray for our children – that their utter desire would be to obey and honor You, as manifested through obeying and honoring us; their parents.
Lord, grant us – parents, disciple-makers and Spirit-filled stewards of Your children – the courage, strength, resolve and wisdom to bring them up in the training and instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ; through our own lives of unreserved honor and obedience unto You;
May Your Holiness, Power and Love fill and saturate our households - that You may be glorified in our deliberate choice to S.T.E.P. into Your sacred roles for us as fathers and mothers; and in so doing, live in Your Promise of eternal life in the Kingdom of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
That through our obedience and honor of You – our Lord, our God – that we, along with our children - would indeed experience Your true and lasting blessing and peace that comes only through Christ, our Saviour.
By the Power of the Holy Spirit, may we fulfill our destiny as Christ’s witness to our households; and to the world.
To this, to our children, we pray –
“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”;
We thank You and pray all these in the Name of our King, Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.